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purple_kat
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Name: sOmmer
Birthday: 1/6/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: i love tanning, cultures, good music, a nice day, brittany being in town, and good conversations
Expertise: laughing...at me, at you, and at life
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  sommercita
Member Since:
7/7/2003
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| i just went back and read almost 3 hours worth of my old xanga blogs. i felt every emotion all over again that i was feeling when i wrote my posts. it was such a strange emotional ride i went on. i had forgotten how so much of my life felt. Now that im done, i am so thankful to have just experienced that again. i spent so many years looking for something and not knowing where to find it. i was full of questions and no answers. i was curious and confused and frustrated and heartbroken about life and wondering when i would finally feel okay. and now at 31 years old i have found it. it will continue to be a struggle and i will always be learning, but i have finally found the inner peace i have been looking for. i have found my place in this world. i am so thankful to have had xanga in my life through my ups and downs and right in the midst of me trying to figure myself out. i am so grateful to be able to look back and feel again as i read what i was feeling when my heart got broken by my first love. i felt the misery i felt at times with my job. how stuck i felt. my longing for direction in my life. i have a school and career goal now, i am in a relationship where i feel completely and comfortably myself. i am real, but not as harsh about it. i have found my peace. xanga ive missed you, and i think im coming back. | | |
| Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair
Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair
And now i'm walking in a park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
Oh i'm never really ready, i'm never really ready
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there
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| emily wants to bring back xanga, and i think this is a really good idea. i miss writing out the things that are going on in my life. no guarantees that ill be as consistent as i used to be, but heres a new post! i had a great christmas this year. the holidays have been kind of hard for our family for a lot of years now, and we have kind of let this day fall to the wayside and just kinda get through it. this year hayley and i decided to start new traditions, do lots of christmas shopping and take back this day. and it worked! we had a great time hanging out and it felt like christmas again. fabulous. im excited about the new year and especially my karaoke birthday party. its crazy to me that im gonna be 29. its amazing how life flies by. ive got some good ideas for my 29th year.. we'll see how it goes. | | |
| He had a childlike heart. And that was very, very impressive to me. At the end of the day, we're all human beings, and for those who can't see that it is possible for a man who's an adult to have a childlike spirit, it doesn't mean that they're weird, it doesn't mean they're a freak or whatever ridiculous things people say. We have all kinds of people in the world. The most important thing is that your heart is in a good place. - stevie wonder | | |
| i havent been on xanga for a long time, but i came back the other day and was rereading my posts and realized how important this is for me. i come back years later and am able to see where i was at, where im going, and i am reminded of the struggles ive fought through. i feel thankful that i have this outlet.
i still deal with the fact of my friend dan dying. i was screwed over finamcially this year by friends and people who took advantage of me. i was dealing with the possibility of having cervical cancer. i was talking a friend of mine through a time in his life when his marriage was falling apart. i got involved with a guy who ended up being a drug addict. my best friend's sister died who was the same age as me. one of my best friends found out he was HIV positive. another friend of mine's dad died and i realized a lot of my own dad issues through this and was figuring out how to come to terms with all this. im in the midst of dealing with job related issues where my character is being questioned and im being hated on for no real reason.
these have all been/and some continue to be hard issues to deal with. but i am seeing that through all of this, God is showing up. just like he always does. and i am continuing to CHOOSE to hang on to my own integrity. to care about the things that matter in this life and to remember that "the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held."
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